Under My Skin
by Augustine-Safa
Summary: It's right, just not right now. Taking faith in his words, Elena struggles with her hidden feelings and life isn't about to make it easy for her as she starts on the path to find their 'right now' Damon x Elena
1. I'm sorry

**I do not own, pretend to own or have the money to try and own (damn it) anything to do with the Vampire Diaries. **

The Salvatore Boarding house was blanketed in darkness as the headlights of Elena's car went out. Stepping out she gasped softly as the nights air brushed against her face. Not a star could be seen and it made the yearning she had for warmth make its presence known again. It wasn't right and it hadn't been ever since she spoke without thinking, opening her mouth and saying four of the most hurtful words she could have.

"_Maybe that's the problem"_

It made her stomach turn at the memory of his face, she had pushed him too far after making so much progress and there was a chance it was too late. He had retaliated in a way he knew would hurt her and who blames him? She wasn't his girlfriend; he could sleep with who he liked, though he could have picked better than _her. _Pushing down her fear of what was within the Salvatore house, Elena opened the door, unsurprised at having found it unlocked but suddenly concerned by the lack of light within. Stefan wasn't here, her gut told her that.

"Damon?" Her voice was lost within the sheer size of the hall but if he was here, he would have heard her. With no answer, Elena found herself at the entrance of the living area. The fire was fully ablaze, casting shadows on the wall as a lone figure sat in front of it. It was Damon, and he made no move to greet her. Unnerved by the silence, she plucked up the courage to speak again. "Damon…"

"Don't you mean Stefan?" Damon's voice cut her off as she made her way to stand next to him, the heat from the fire making her cheeks glow. "Sorry to disappoint but your partner in crime is racing down the road of recovery, not a Bambi or bunny in sight"

"I saw the way he was" Elena began "With Meredith, there was so much blood and…"

"He took control. Bye bye imaginary wagon" He didn't sound surprised and Elena remembered the conversation they had about his and Stefan's 'blood binge crawl'.

"I still don't agree with what you did…but I'm glad you did it" Elena said.

"Yeah, well he'll be back to saint Stefan and there will be pixie dust and rainbows all over again" Damon smirked but Elena couldn't help seeing a shadow of sadness behind it "I can go back to being the brooding one" With that he stood up at made his way over to the drinks cabinet, pulled out a bottle of bourbon and poured himself a glass. "So if you don't mind, I'd like to get a head start...alone" he downed half the glass and topped it up. He was being cold, just like the Damon she had first met two years ago and Elena felt a stab at her heart as he brushed her off.

"Damon, please don't..."

"Go, Elena" he spared her a quick glance that held all the emotion to prove just how serious he was. Feeling defeated, Elena tried to ignore the burning behind her eyes and left the room. It wasn't over, not tonight so instead of leaving the house, she walked upstairs. He could hear her, she knew it but she doubted he would chase her just yet.

There was such bitter sweet history in this house for her. Her first kiss with Stefan, hours of searching for him and training to defend herself once she did. Then there was Damon.

The urge to go back into the room she had spend so many nights in with Stefan didn't burn within her so strongly any more. Instead she found herself in Damon's room. The only night she had spent here wasn't laced with sex and booze but with the fear as venom worked within Damon's veins. Time went slowly yet after Katherine brought the cure, it went too quickly for Elena to process what had happened between her and Damon only moments before.

A pity kiss, she had fooled herself to believe as much because to think otherwise would make her far too much like _her_. Looking like her was enough but she never wanted to mirror Katherine's soul. So she ignored it for a while but then he was there as a constant reminder and it all became too real. Elena knew she should have called him back that night he kissed her but even now she didn't know what would have happened. He got her like that.

"What would you have me do?" Elena whispered to herself. She sat on the end of his bed and buried her head in her hands.

"Go back to him" she didn't know how long she had been sitting there for but the voice of Damon snapped her out of the faze.

"Why?" she asked.

"Why what, Elena?" he said clearly annoyed. He was drunk or at least well on his way and **this **Damon was never easy to entertain.

"Why are you giving up now?" Elena stood up and walked over to him "You're acting like you've lost everything"

"I never had anything to lose, now please **go**"

"If this is about what I said, Damon I told you to get over it" Elena cut herself short, remembering what Damon did the last time she upset him. _Go easy on him. _"You wouldn't have let me talk to her and I knew Stefan was so far off the track that **he** would, I didn't want you to get hurt, Damon...especially not by me" she sighed and brushed her hand through her hair. This wasn't going to be easy.

"You want to know why I wouldn't have let you talk to her?" he said, anger clear in his voice "Because I knew she would use you and **I **knew that saint Stefan would let her. He had no boundaries, Elena. Someone had to take over but you got there before I could try"

"You always said you weren't him, Damon!" the tears were harder to hold back this time and the shake in her voice was obvious "You told me to stop trying to change you, so why!"

"You were so willing to accept the way he had changed, for the worse no less and when I show you the 'Damon' you want me to be, I become a liability" The conversation he had with his brother only moment after regaining consciousness reminded him of how far things had gotten.

"I never called you that, don't put your brothers words in my mouth. Damon I was scared because you were in a room full of originals that could have killed to like that" Elena snapped her fingers "and for once I knew that I was safe because Klaus still needed me, but you weren't and I didn't want your love for me cost you your life" Damon's face softened and a spark of hope lit inside Elena. Unknown to her he wouldn't act on what matter most in that sentence, he had received enough rejection to get another shot.

"What about Stefan?"

"Forget Stefan, this isn't about him" Elena said "You hate to be compared to him so why are you doing it yourself?"

"Because it's always going to be Stefan" Damon said and before Elena could speak he continued "I get it, you're mad at him because he went all anti-Stefan but he's back, Elena and no matter what I feel for you, it won't be enough" a tear rolled down Elena's cheek. He wasn't right but the words wouldn't come out to prove him wrong so she said all she could muster.

"I'm sorry Damon"

**There we go! A very short one-shot or possible story. I haven't uploaded anything in over a year so it's good to be back with a fresh pen-name and writing stories for a new area :D **


	2. Collateral damage

AN/ Hey all! A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed, alerted and added the story to their favorites, it means a lot. So! Chapter two, as per I don't own a darn thing, but we can all live in hope can't we? :P Happy reading!

"I'm sorry, Damon"

The words echoed through his mind as the warm spray of the shower batted against him. He rested his head against the cool tile and closed his eyes. That's all Elena had said to him, and for a moment he truly believed they were the worst two words going. _I'm sorry._ He was tired of people being sorry, tired of his place at second best, and the way those three words dripped from the person who had hurt him. He was 172 years old and the niavety in her words was enough to remind him of just how young she was. 18, not even old enough to drink yet and Damon was poisoning her, by trying to win her over the good old fashioned way. The Damon of old would have compelled, taken and drank the warm nectar from within in a heartbeat, but not with her. The guilt that came from compelling her to forget his secret outburst was enough to send him on a binge blood drinking frenzy.

He had left her alone in his bedroom, something that would usually go against every fibre of his being, but he was just too tired. The faint echo of the door shutting gave little comfort to Damon as he wrapped a towel around his waist with a sigh. He shouldn't feel the swell of guilt in his chest, this was her problem but as Damon glanced out of the window, he noticed the slight reflection of himself staring back from the dark.

"Get a grip" he murmured to himself before walking towards his wardrobe. They had stakes to whittle and originals to kill.

…...

The loud shrill of Elena's alarm clock filled her bedroom and from underneath the covers, a stray hand wafted towards the off button. She pushed back the duvet and groaned as the light hit her eyes. It was morning already and last night began to replay in her mind instantly. Choosing to ignore them was the best she could for now, so Elena made her way down stairs. She was used to it being quiet after Jenna and John had died, but now Jeremy was in Denver and Alaric was under lock and key, it made the house seem so much bigger. A part of her hoped that one day she would be able to wake up without fearing for the life of her loved ones and herself. Ever since she was named the personal blood bank of Klaus, she had resigned herself to the fact that if anyone was going to make it out of this, it would be her and it killed her inside. The others didn't deserve it.

She would go and see Alaric, it didn't feel right when he wasn't around and now that all evidence linked him to the killings, he wasn't safe to be around alone. Grabbing her car keys from the side, Elena made a pit stop at the local bakery and bought some chocolate muffins. Nothing says 'we miss you' like teeth rotting goodness, right? Or maybe it was just an excuse for her to be normal for a brief moment. Walking up the stairs towards where Alaric was being held, Elena wondered what would be waiting for her, and she found herself knocking the door before the confidence left her.

"Morning sunshine" Stunned for a moment, Elena looked up a the body of Damon. What was he doing here and why was he so chipper with her? Going along with whatever was happening, Elena spoke up.

"Hey, how's Alaric?"

"Indecent, but fine" Damon said, stopping Elena from entering the apartment and ignoring the frustrated look she sent his way.

"Then why do I feel like you are hiding something from me?" she said, tutting as Damon grabbed the brown bag from her hand.

"Well, maybe because you're being all paranoid and control freaky. What'd you bring me?" He sniffed at the bag even though he knew its contents as soon as he'd opened the door. He never had been one for the stodgy substance, even as a human.

"They're not for you" she said "Just take it and give it to him. Tell him that I miss him, okay? Elena wanted to say something to him, anything that would better explain last night. It wasn't meant how it sounded, and she was beginning to realise what a habit of that she was making.

"Fine. Keep convincing yourself you're still mad at me. I'd let you tell him but you know, lock-down and all." he gave a tapered down version of his usual smirk and closed the door on her. He'd pay for that later.

"Walking down the stairs, opening the front door...and she's gone" Damon nodded towards Alaric who turned on the saw hovering above the Wickery bridge sign.

They carried on throughout the day, cutting the wood and whittling it into enough stakes that would prevent any lost chances. They would get one good shot and once the originals knew about the stakes, it would be a stab in the dark. They met Elena, Caroline and Matt later on in the afternoon, stakes in hand and once everyone had their role, the pieces were set.

"Klaus has always been one step ahead of us, but now we have the advantage. We're all armed and they are all linked, meaning we only need to kill one of them. We need to seize the best opportunity, which means we need to prepare for every opportunity" Stefan said "Rebekah is our target so we distract her and catch her off guard. To do that we need to keep Klaus separate and occupied, Caroline" After a momentary fight of defence, Caroline looked at the brothers with determination.

"Oh, I'm ready. Anything that will free Tyler from his sire bond to Klaus"

…...

"Are you going to help me with this or not?" Elena couldn't believe it, Stefan was still going ahead with the plan even though Rebekah had Damon.

"This is Damon we are talking about, Stefan" Elena said "He isn't collateral damage" no emotion towards remorse or concern crossed Stefan's face and she started to fear he would let his brother be killed.

"Fine, I'll figure it out myself" Stefan said, walking by her. She found herself staring at the place he had stood for a moment, before letting the anger settle and her legs take her towards her car. Where Damon was seemed to be the usual problem. He could handle himself, at least to a point but this was Rebekah, and he had literally screwed with her to find out what she had wanted. If Elena let herself, she could feel a slight pang of pity towards the original. She was a girl after all and if Damon had wooed her into believing she was worth something only to drop her, then what she would be doing to him wouldn't be limited to just physical torture. Rebekah would bring out the big guns and unless her hatred towards Elena had dropped, there was little chance she would let her out of the house alive.

…...

It took all of five minutes and Elena was on the phone to Bonnie, her face dropped as the witch told her the spell had been lifted. They had failed. They were dead. Sage had burst into the Salvatore boarding house with Troy and within moments they were on the floor, dead. Really dead. Stefan searched them. There was no sign of fatal wounds or vervain and Bonnie was the only witch in town who could put a vampire into such a catatonic state, and she wasn't there.

Now Elena was driving full pelt down the road, the words of Stefan as he relayed his meeting with Klaus and Rebekah running through her head. Damon had brushed Stefan off after being taken back to the boarding house and he had left without much force. The bond between the two brothers was stronger now than it had been in perhaps a hundred years, but Damon was stubborn and Stefan knew to give him his space. This riled Elena up, in fact she was royally pissed. The man had been tortured at the hands of another vampire, an original no less, and Stefan was content leaving him? Stubborn or not, she wasn't happy to sit at home whilst Damon did god knows what, god knows where. Pulling up, she spared little thought on how she had parked or how loudly the door banged behind her.

"Damon?" she called his name out, hoping he would be in the main living area drinking a bourbon, but chance would be a fine thing and luck wasn't her forte. Hearing no reply, she went to call his name again but noticed dark red stains on the floor. It was blood, no doubt Damon's. "Damon!"

A soft groan brought Elena's attention to the stairs and a gasp left her lips as she saw Damon lying there. She ran to his side and with the dim light on the wall was able to make out the blood stains running from neck, all the way to his stomach. His hands were balled up into fists, the same crimson liquid running past his fingers and down his wrists.

"Elena?" His voice was broken and Elena bit her lip as he coughed, curling in on himself.


End file.
